Title: HERO DANCING BACWARDS IN HEELS Author: FatCat (feedback to FatCat926@msn.com) Rating: NC17 Category: MSR Summary: January 2002 challenge MSR Disclaimer: They aren't mine, dang it! Chris Carter Fox, 1013 and all those others are the creators and controllers of these characters. Play nice or I'll lure them away. Author's Notes: The elements of the challenge are A Dreamcatcher A FBI baseball cap Cybersex of any form Dancing in the moonlight Viewing of an old horror flic Green M&M's A power outage Summary: Sometimes a woman has to Cowboy Up and take what she wants. Fox Mulder slammed his room door, flipping the safety latch automatically. He stopped by the connecting door to see if Scully was back from the local field office. He unlocked his side and left the door open slightly. He heard her shower running and groaned. He didn't need any help visualizing his partner naked and wet, arms raised washing her hair. Her full round breasts would be lifted even higher than normal. Her small rose nipples would be hard and pebbled, aroused by the heat of the shower and the cold of the room- maybe even from the fantasy Scully would have running through her mind. He shook his head and purposefully put the tantalizing picture out of his thoughts. Damn Diana for forcing them into that decontamination shower together. He toed off his hiking boots and strode toward his bathroom, stripping off first his blue FBI windbreaker and then the rest of his wet, muddy clothes as he moved. He cranked the shower on and adjusted the water as hot as it would go. One of these days he would be in a motel with something other than lukewarm water. Not that he needed it 75% of the time. Since he accepted his love for Scully and his cowardice about acting on his feelings, he was getting used to the cold showers. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror and smiled as he notice that he still had the FBI baseball cap on that Agent Finney loaned him when the monsoon hit. This was Southern California-it wasn't supposed to rain in June! A half an hour later, Mulder was feeling like he would live. Damn! He was getting too old to chase down twenty-something suspects through the foothills of San Diego. Every muscle in his body ached. He thought that even his hair hurt, but he wasn't sure. He had just settled back on his bed with the remote when he heard Scully's soft knock on the adjoining door. "Are you decent?" Scully called. "Depends on your concept of decent, but at least I'm dressed, Scully." Mulder teased. She pushed the door open and stood contemplating her partner. Mulder was reclined on the bed with only his boxers on. His bare chest and legs were muscular and tanned. 'When had he become the standard for male beauty?' she thought. "I heard that you caught the killer. Pretty spectacular chase, from Agent Finney's report. It's all over the news tonight. You're a hero." "Yeah, well, tell that to Melissa Connors or Jessica Larson or Kendra Smith. They're the ones that have to live with the nightmares that monster left them with. If I had just been able to see the pattern a week earlier, they wouldn't have to face a lifetime of memories." Mulder felt like anything but a hero. "A week later and they wouldn't have a life to live at all Mulder. Don't do this to yourself. You are a hero and you deserve every bit of praise you get." "Yeah, fine, whatever." he said with a small smile to cut the sarcasm of his words. "Are you sure you don't want to join me for dinner at Bill and Tara's house?" Scully knew he did need his rest and was extremely glad for an excuse to decline the invitation. "Thanks, but I'm going to crash as soon as I eat the pizza I ordered from room service. I feel like I could sleep for a year." "Don't forget we have an appointment to finish up the paperwork with Detective Andrews at ten in the morning. We probably should check out before we head over there. Well, if you're sure you don't need the car, I'll see you in the morning." "You're not staying the night at Bill's are you?" Mulder sat up, suddenly feeling alone. "No, Mulder, but you'll probably be asleep when I get back." Scully quickly assured him. She smiled goodbye and left through her room. Mulder settled back to wait for his dinner. He knew he would doze until she came back but wouldn't be able to sleep soundly until she was safely in her room. "I am so whipped." Mulder said aloud with a grin. An hour later he was full and napping when his cell phone started ringing. "Mulder." He mumbled. "Mulder, my man! Hero of the hour! You did it! Congrats!" "Langly? Is that you?" "Yep, hey, Mulder, did we catch you sleeping?" "We?" Mulder yawned and stretched. "Yeah, I'm here too, Mulder!" Frohike spoke up. "You got the bad guy, dude. Now you get to ride off into the sunset with the girl!" Langly joked. "It's all over the national news." "Speaking of the lovely Agent Scully, where is she tonight?" Frohike asked. "She wouldn't be snuggled up next to you would she? What's she wearing?" "She's visiting her brother and his family," Mulder replied in a back-off voice. Mulder knew Frohike was teasing, but sometimes his lewd curiosity about Scully was more than he was willing to accept. "Hey, no offence, man." "None, taken Fro-I'm just strung out from this case. Where's Byers?" Langly snickered and Frohike laughed. "He's in his room. He needed some 'privacy'." Frohike was finally able to say. "Privacy for what?" Mulder caught something in Frohike's tone that suggested there was more to the story than they were telling. "Uh, well, I guess he won't care if Mulder knows." Langly said. "What do you think, Frohike?" "Don't kid yourself, longhair, he'll kill us if we tell Mulder." Frohike replied. "That's okay, guys, I can respect his privacy." Mulder assured them. "The hell you can, Mulder!" Frohike brayed. "You know you're dying to know and we're dying to tell you." "Okay, what's happening." Mulder smiled to himself. "He's on-line, dude!" Langly interjected, the smirk evident in his voice. "So?" Mulder said when nothing more came out. "You know...ON-LINE?" Frohike added. "So? You guys are always on-line at one time or another." Mulder still wasn't getting the joke. "Dude! He's on-line with his chickadee, doing the electronic hustle." "Yeah, the long distance horizontal bop" "You know...that which you desire with the lovely Agent Scully in person." "Jesus! You mean Byers is on-line having cybersex? Is that safe? What does he know about this woman?" "Relax man, it's Suzanne." Frohike interjected. "Suzanne? The SUZANNE?" Mulder was surprised. "I thought she was disappeared by the MIBs last time he saw her." "Yeah, but she popped up on his e-mail last month and things have been hot and heavy since then." "How does he know it's the real Suzanne? I mean it could be a ploy to infiltrate your computer systems." Mulder sounded as paranoid as they were. "It's cool, Mulder, she sent him the sign." Langly assured him. "The sign? What do you mean?" Mulder questioned. Both Frohike and Langly began laughing. "You know, their safe signal. She overnighted him five pounds of green M&M's, Dude. No one but Suzanne would know that one." Langly blurted. "Good one, geekboy! Now you've said it on the phone and everyone listening knows what their safe sign is." Frohike voice rose. For the next few minutes insults flew between the two Gunmen. Mulder couldn't contain his laughter after the first few jabs, but sleep was calling. "Guys, guys! Hey, I gotta go. I'm really tired after this week. It was great to hear from you. Tell Byers I said 'Way to Go!' Talk to you next week." Mulder finally said to break up the fight. "Later, Dude!" "Congrats again, Mulder. Don't forget to give my regards to the lovely Agent Scully." Frohike had to add. "Yeah, Fro. Will do." Mulder contemplated Byers and Suzanne finally having some kind of relationship. "Maybe there's hope for me yet" Mulder said as he picked up the remote to try to find something to watch until he fell asleep again. He channel surfed until he came across a double feature of old black and white horror movies. The Frankenstein with Boris Karloff was just ending. Mulder yawned and settled back to watch the movie until Scully got back. The Bride of Frankenstein was up next. "Shit, everybody's getting laid." Mulder grumbled to himself. 'But not you, you sorry son-of-a-bitch, as Bill Scully so aptly put it. No one wants Monster Boy and especially not Scully. So get used to it.' Mulder tried to clear his mind of guilt, self pity and memories of Samantha by concentrating on the plot of the old movie. It really wasn't bad if you remembered what they had to work with back then. . . Dana Scully pulled up and stared at her brother's house. Base housing never seemed to change. If she squinted just right she could almost see her Mom standing at the door waving to her and her siblings as they walked to the bus stop. This wasn't the house she had lived in when Ahab was stationed at Miramar, but it was identical in style and layout. She sighed as she climbed out of the car, somewhat sorry she had contacted Bill and Tara after all. She wasn't sure she was up to another fun filled visit with Bill telling her everything wrong about her life, her career, her assignments, her partner. Maybe tonight would be different. Dana knocked and was greeted by an exuberant Matthew and Tara. "Dana, come in!" Tara's gentle voice greeted her. "Antie Day! Antie Dana! Antie Dana's here!" Matthew threw himself into her open arms and gave her a wet smoochie kiss and a hug. "Antie Dana, did you bring me something?" "Matthew William Scully!" Tara chastised her son. "You never ask for presents! Tell Auntie Dana that you're sorry." "Sorry, Antie Day." Matthew's lower lip trembled. "Apology accepted, Matty. But it just so happens that I do have a present for you. Let me get it out of my purse." Dana smiled and reached for the "Thomas the Train" book and tape she had picked up for her nephew. It was his new favorite and the happy little boy gave his 'flavorite Antie' a kiss and ran into the depths of the house to enjoy his newest treasure. "Is Bill home yet?" Dana asked. "Oh, Dana, I'm sorry. Yes, Bill is home, but he's been following the news about the three kidnapped girls so closely that when he heard the bulletin about their return he..." "He what, Sweetheart? Dana, it's great to see you." Bill Scully hugged his sister and walked her and Tara into the living room. "How have you been, Sis?" Dana was glad to see her brother, even though most of their get-togethers lately ended in an argument on her life choices. "I'm great, Bill. We just ended our case and I wanted to see you all before we returned to DC." "That's great, Dana. I'll bet your hungry. I'll just finish up dinner. Why don't you two talk for a few minutes?" Tara gave her husband a warning look and left them alone. And surprisingly they did have a nice talk. Bill refused to bring up anything that was in the least confrontational and Dana was more than willing to cooperate. After a great dinner, Tara shooed everyone out to the living room. She wouldn't take no for an answer. The dishes could wait. They only had a limited amount of time together and she was determined they enjoyed it. Matthew had not let Dana out of his sight since they sat down to eat. He seemed to be thinking about something very hard. All the adults noticed his quiet mood and were happy to see him smile again as he ran from the living room towards his bedroom. Dana and Bill were talking about the antics the Scully children had pulled while living at Miramar when Matthew raced back into the room. His hands were behind his back and a smile was on his face as he stopped in front of Dana. "Antie Day, I sorry I asked for a present. Mommy told me that it's more better to give than receive, so I give you this." With his pronouncement he pulled a hastily wrapped present from behind his back. Dana smiled at him and then looked from Tara to Bill in askance. They both shrugged and smiled back. She carefully peeled back the newspaper that covered the gift and looked inside. There was a homemade craft item of unrecognizable origin, more precious to Dana than a gift from Tiffany's. "It's a Dweamcather, Antie Day. We made them at school when we learned about Indians and Cowboys." Matty was proud of his gift. "Matthew, I love it. My very own Dreamcatcher. I'll hang it over my bed as soon as I get back home." Dana had tears in her eyes as she hugged the precious little boy. "Thank you sweetie." Conversation gradually picked up and time passed quickly. Bill carried a sleeping Matthew up the stairs with Tara but came right back down. "Bill, I should go. I've got a long day tomorrow." "Hey, sis, at least wait for Tara to come back down and say goodbye. She won't be too long." Dana nodded her agreement. "Do you mind if I turn on the evening news?" Bill asked as he flicked on the TV. "I want to catch the last update on the kidnappings. Did I tell you that one of the girls was the granddaughter of my CO?" "Bill! I didn't know." Dana said. She was going to ask him what he wanted to know about the case when he began talking again. "Geese, Dana, if you had to be an FBI Agent you should at least be working on cases like this one. Rescuing victims from animals like this guy is a worthwhile job. Not like working with that nutcase, Mulder. The guy who ran this sickie down is a real man. Someone that anyone could be proud of knowing. Too bad you couldn't find someone like this heroic agent and partner up with him. That's the kind of man you need to be with." "Is that so, Bill? Did you get the name of the agent that made the arrest?" Dana covered her anger well. She let him dig his own grave-she was going to be the one to push him in. "Naw, you got here and I turned the TV off before I heard the whole story." Bill found the station he was looking for and turned up the sound. Tara joined them as the evening news report began. "Good evening. I'm Jay Evans," said a sincere- looking, middle-aged news man. "And I'm Robin Moore and this is your early evening news." The attractive blonde smiled into the camera. The screen flashed to Jay Evans again as he began to speak. " Today, the reign of terror that has blanketed our area for the past six weeks is over. The kidnapper of the latest three young girls from suburban San Diego has been apprehended and the girls returned to their families. Young Melissa Connors, Jessica Larson, and Kendra Smith were rushed to Mercy Hospital for evaluation but released to their relieved parents after a cursory physical." A picture of the three girls flashed on screen. "The San Diego Police spokesman laid all the praise for capture of the kidnapper at the feet of the two FBI Agents sent from Washington DC-Special Agents, Dr. Dana Scully and Dr. Fox Mulder. Dr Scully was able to identify through forensic evidence from the previous victims clothing, leads, that Dr. Mulder used to complete his profile of the perpetrator. This profile led to the identification and capture of accused kidnapper and alleged murderer, Troy Stevens before three more deaths could occur." "That's right, Jay! And not only did Agent Mulder profile the killer, he was the one that chased down twenty-eight year old Troy Stevens after he somehow eluded the police net that surrounded the empty warehouse where the girls were held. The alleged killer took off on foot through the foothills behind the property at 1013 Fortuna Blvd. Agent Mulder single-handedly chased him down and had him in handcuffs by the time the other officers caught up." Footage of the tearful reunion of the girls and their families began to roll with the continued voice over. A muddy but happy Mulder surrounded by the three scared young girls flashed on the screen. At the arrival of their parents the girls ran from Mulder's protective presence into the arms of their arriving families. Dana could see Mulder's bittersweet smile before he moved out of the view of the camera. 'Oh, Mulder, you never said a word.' she thought to herself. She knew that Mulder was thinking of Samantha as he watched the reunions. "Agent Mulder declined to make a statement to the press other than citing the outstanding work the San Diego police had done in tracking and apprehending the alleged killer. Agent Scully was unavailable as of air time. We take our hats off to these unsung heroes. San Diego thanks you, Agents Scully and Mulder." "Yes, Jay, I certainly agree. On another bright note, the newest arrival at the San Diego Zoo is Tong Tshu, a baby giant panda born. . ." Bill flicked off the TV and silence enveloped the room. Bill sat with his head bowed. "Why didn't you tell me that you were working on this case, Dana?" "You didn't ask Bill." "I assumed you were out here hunting down UFOs or little 'grey' men. So Mulder is the one that captured that slime, huh?" "Yes, Bill. Mulder is 'the real man who ran this sickie down - someone that anyone could be proud of knowing - the kind of man I need to be with' to paraphrase your earlier statement." "Well, if he's so great, why aren't you 'with' him? Mom swears that you two are just partners and friends, but I know you Dana. You want more from him. What kind of man would ignore a loving woman like you. He has to be a nutcase or something!" "Bill, you're impossible! First you loathe Mulder because he's in my life then you criticize him because he hasn't taken advantage of me sexually. Have you ever thought that there was more to Mulder than most men?" Dana rose and stood toe to toe with her brother. "He is a brilliant, intense, caring man. He is dedicated to his work and to finding his sister. Would you have looked for me for all these years, Bill, if I had disappeared? Want him? No, I don't want him in my life - I need him. My life would be diminished without him. Why can't you understand that, Billy?" "You're in love with him." Bill was shocked. He staggered back and sat down hard on the sofa. Dana was silent for a long moment. "Yes. Yes, I am." "Does he love you too?" Bill realized all he had ever wanted was his sister's happiness. "Is he in love with you?" Again Dana thought before she answered. "I don't know. It's complicated, Bill. We have garnered enemies that would use our love against us. I know he loves me and for right now that's enough for me." "You deserve more, sis." Bill said quietly. "We both do, Bill." "You're never going to let me live this down, are you Dana?" Bill said, still not looking his sister in the eyes. "No, Bill. I'm not." Dana waited for a some sort of response from Bill, but when it wasn't offered, she turned to leave. "Dana, tell Fox that we. . . I am so proud of him - of both of you. Thank you both for all the hard work you put in catching this man." Tara gave her husband a stern look as he remained silent and seated on the couch. The women moved toward the front door and hugged as Dana prepared to leave. The walk down the sidewalk seemed endless. Fatigue overtook her as she got in the car. She rested her head on the wheel for a moment before leaving. The knock on her window startled her. Her brother's face filled the window. She lowered it, refusing to speak first. "Dana, I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. I had a lot to think about." Bill said, still unable to look her in the eye. "Look, maybe I could be. . . I mean it's possible that I may have. . . I might have drawn certain conclusions about your job and everything that could be incorrect." Bill looked at her to see if his backhand apology was going to work. One look and he realized only a true apology was going to be accepted by this stubborn sister of his. "All right! I apologize for my past statements. I don't understand why you would give up a cushy career as a medical doctor to be an FBI agent. Dana, I just don't understand. You worked so hard!" Bill was at a loss for words. "I accept your apology, Bill. I know you don't understand why I do what I do, but can you at least understand that it is my choice and I am happy with my life?" "I don't know, Sis, all I can promise is that I will try." Bill said honestly. "I'm not the only one that you owe an apology to, Bill." Dana pushed. "Geese, Dana! I don't know about apologizing to Mulder." Bill squirmed. "Bill. . ." Dana started. "Okay, I'll try about Mulder, too." Bill said. "But it's probably going to be a cold day in Hell before we like each other." "Thank you, Bill, that's all I'm asking. I better get back to the motel." As Dana spoke all the lights on the street suddenly blacked out. "Damn! I'd better get inside. They're working on upgrading the electrical systems here on base. This unexpected rain has caused blackouts for the past week or so. Tara and Mattie will need me. Can you find you way off base without the lights, Sis?" "Sure, Bill, I learned how to drive on this base, remember. It hasn't changed that much." Dana smiled at her big brother. He started to walk back to the house but turned and motioned for her to roll down the passenger window. "We'll see you and Mulder at Mom's house at Christmas, Dana. Okay?" "Okay, Bill." Dana smiled. For the first time in many years everything was going to be okay between them. She couldn't ask Bill to be best friends with Mulder, but at least he was willing to try to accept him in her life. Now, she just had to work on Mulder accepting Bill. When Scully entered her room, she automatically glanced towards the adjoining door and saw that Mulder's TV was still on. She quietly walked into his room stopping just short of the end of the bed. Mulder was asleep with the remote control still in his hand. She slid it from his fingers and turned to shut off the TV when the movie on the screen caught her attention. Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire were dancing in the moonlight. They floated across the set staged to look like the terrace of a fancy country club as one. Dana sat down on the end of the bed to watch the end of the scene. She was trying to remember what she had read recently that referred to Ginger Rodgers. "I didn't know you were a Fred Astaire fan, Scully." Mulder's voice was gravelly with sleep. "What makes you think I was admiring Astaire, Mulder?" Scully teased back. "Isn't that what all women want? A man that can romance them and dance with them in the moonlight?" "That's not every woman's idea of romance, Mulder. For your information, I was trying to remember a quote I read a few days ago about Ginger Rodgers. It was in an article about women in the work place. I think it was something about how everyone admired Astaire, but forgot that Ginger Rodgers danced every step with him backwards and in heels." At Mulder's groggy look she continued. "It was a reference to how hard women had to work to achieve recognition in a male dominated society." Mulder smiled and let his eyes close again. "Speaking of recognition, did you catch the evening news, Mulder?" "Naw, I was watching the Bride of Frankenstein and fell asleep a while back. Anything I should know about." "I saw you with the girls at the hospital, Mulder." Scully was almost whispering. If he had slipped back to sleep she didn't want to wake him. "Oh," came his sleepy reply. "You were thinking of Samantha, weren't you. When you saw them reunite with their parents, I saw your face." "Yeah. It was great to see them together." "Mulder, we'll find her." Scully promised. She clicked off the TV and moved to kneel beside him. "We'll find her someday, Mulder, and we won't stop until the truth is known to everyone." Mulder kept his eyes closed but a single tear slid down his face. He reached for Scully as he scooted over in the bed. "Stay here with me for a while, please Scully." His voice revealed the pain in his heart. Dana kissed his forehead and promised to be right back. She hurried through her evening routine and after pulling on her navy night shirt, moved back to Mulder's room. He pulled her into his arms and sighed contentedly. "My hero," he said as he kissed her hair and slid back into sleep. "Mulder, you are the hero who deserves the happy ending." Scully whispered softly to him. "And one day you'll get it." Scully lay awake thinking of her brother's words. She had admitted to him that she was in love with Mulder. Why couldn't she tell Mulder the same thing? Suddenly it was all too much for Scully. She knew he loved her as a friend for years. She had felt comforted by it and the love she felt for him as a partner and a friend. He told her he was in love with her after the Queen Anne incident. The love she felt for him as a man had overwhelmed her and she had countered quickly with an 'Oh, Brother!' to hide the depths of her response. She had been more terrified of loving him than she had been of facing death from her tumor. But, time had eased her trepidation and now she realized that acknowledging their love was more important than her fear. "I love you Mulder." Scully whispered. It wasn't as hard to say as she thought it would be - especially when she thought he was asleep. "What did you say?" Mulder gasped. "I said I love you. I'm in love with you." Scully decided that now was as good a time to tell him as any. Mulder was dazed. Everything he had ever wanted was just handed to him. For an instant joy flashed through his heart. But as quickly as it flared, reality stifled it. He couldn't let Dana Scully know how much he loved her and he couldn't allow her to love him. "Let me in, Mulder. Don't shut me out." Scully could feel him pulling away mentally. Mulder was silent for a moment longer and then jerked away to sit cross-legged near the foot of the bed. "I can't, Scully." "Why? Why, Mulder, why can't you share your love and life with me? Why do you think you have to be some kind of modern day martyr? Do you think you have the market cornered on angst?" Scully was losing her temper. Mulder snorted and flashed a sarcastic look her way. "You of all people should know that hanging around me is bad for your health and your career. Scully, haven't I hurt you enough by just being your partner and friend? Do you want to go for a triple double and let me shitcan your life on a more personal level?" "Mulder, could you try to be a little more crude?" Scully was trying very hard to control her temper, but he was pushing her beyond her limits. Admitting her feelings to Bill tonight had somehow opened a dam of emotions and she was not sure she could remain calm. "I'm sorry, Scully. You don't know what you're getting into here. I'm not the best man for you. You deserve more. You ought to have a normal life with the right man. You know-kids, house, dog, minivan, orthodontia bills." Mulder tried to tease her into forgetting her declaration and failed. "All I can offer is pain and danger. I can't do that to you." Dana Scully stared at his back for some minutes after his speech. Stared at his beautiful, bare, sexy back. She crawled across the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck. Moving her lips to almost touch his ear, she said sweetly "Who the hell do you think you're dealing with, Mulder?" She flipped him down onto his back and jumped on his chest, pinning his arms down with her knees. Mulder struggled until he realized that his face was closer to heaven on earth than he ever thought he would be. He tore his gaze from the crotch of her silky navy panties and let it burn up to meet her eyes. The fire in her eyes mesmerized him. A shock of desire held him in place. "Mulder, tonight I told my brother and Tara that I love you, am in love with you. Bill fought it, but eventually accepted that I am a grown woman and he had to let me love whom I chose. Yet, when I tell you - you the man that has proven time and time again his loyalty, his depth of caring and even stated his love for me - YOU reject me!" Scully's anger was growing with each moment that passed. "I refuse to accept your rejection! You want me. You love me, and you're damn well going to have me! And I'm going to have you." "Scully" "Shut up, Mulder. I'm doing the talking here. For months now I have tried to deny that you told me you loved me. Coming after almost losing you again, it was too much to deal with. But you said it and I heard it and now, I'm ready to hold you to it. I love you, too, Mulder. And I want you in my life in any way you are able to give. If all you can do is be my partner and hold on to your secret love Jones, I can accept it. But that's not what I want." Scully could tell that she was scaring him. After a few moments he was able to ask, "What. . ." he cleared his throat. "What do you want, Scully?" "I want it all, Mulder. I want you as my partner. I want to cover your back and know that you will always be there for me. I want my friend - my best friend. Someone that knows when to tease and when to walk away. Someone I can always count on." Scully licked her lips and continued. "I want to openly love you and I want you to love me back." Scully scooted lower on Mulder's chest. She let her eyes lock on his lips and moved as if to kiss him. "I want you in my bed, every night. I want you." She allowed herself one kiss before she continued. Her lips lowered to him in a kiss that was almost chaste. Mulder's lips molded to hers and smiled as she moved away. "Scully, I don't think you know what you're asking for." Mulder quietly responded. "Oh?" Her eyebrow slowly rose. "Just what do you think I'm asking for, Mulder?" "I can't give you normal, Scully. Oh, I could give you the house and the dog and probably even the kids - one way or another. But it could be taken away in a moment by any one of the people who populate our world. I can love you, Scully. But even that wouldn't be what you deserve. You deserve 'happy ever after'. All I can offer is a pretty shaky now." "All you do is tell me no. I once again reject your 'No'. I don't need your definition of normal. I don't even want normal. I haven't been fighting by your side for all these years and stayed the same, Mulder. I may have thought that the kid-house-dog scenario was what I wanted when I was young, but that was before I grew up and realized that there was more than that in life to pursue." "Once again, we're back to asking what do you want, Scully? All I can offer is my love and all the pain that goes with it." "That will do, Mulder. Your love will give me all I need." "Jesus, Scully, make it hard for me why don't you. You have to know that I'm afraid I'll hurt you." "Mulder, your love could never hurt me." Scully was quick to assure him. "I wasn't just talking about my love, Scully. I... I'm afraid that my passion will scare you - will turn you away. You're everything to me and I don't think I could live if I had a taste of your love and then you took it away." Mulder was baring his soul to her. How could she do less? "I don't think you know the depth of my passion for you, Mulder. I can understand how you feel; I sometimes have the same fears." "You afraid, Scully? Come on, you're the strongest person I know." "I am afraid sometimes, Mulder. My need for you is overwhelming, blinding me to everything else sometimes. Luckily, it usually flares when I'm alone in bed and I've been able to hide it from you." "You want me?" Mulder gulped, trying to free his arms to hold her. "Uh, uh, uh! I'm the one in charge right now, Mulder." Scully was enjoying looking down at Mulder for a change. "Yes, to answer your question, I want you." She smiled sweetly at him. "How? How do you want me?" he whispered. "Oh, Mulder, so many ways, I want you so many ways that it's hard to verbalize." "Try," was all he could say. Scully let her gaze rove over his face and come to rest on his beautiful eyes, returning his intense stare. "Mulder, I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to interrupt me. I need to tell you this all at once. Can you agree to that?" "I'm not sure I can, Scully. I can promise I will try. Is that good enough?" Scully smiled then, "Yes, Mulder, for you that's good enough." She closed her eyes and gathered her thoughts before she began. "When I'm alone at night and think about what I need, what I want, I think of you. I want to kiss you and hold you close any time I choose. I want to run my fingers through your hair and feel the softness of the strands as they fall through my fingertips. I want to draw my nails through you hair and scrape your scalp, massaging it and hopefully arousing you. I want to move my hands down to stroke your face. I want to skim across your forehead and move to trace your eyebrows. I want to kiss your eyelids and taste your eyelashes with my tongue." Scully lowered her hands to follow the path her voice had blazed. "I want to run my finger tips over every inch of your face and follow them with my tongue and lips. I want to give you Eskimo and butterfly kisses. I want to trace your lips with my finger tips. I long to slide them down the crease between your nose and your upper lip and follow around the outline and back across the crease to slip my finger into your mouth. I know it will be hot and exciting, with a flavor of toothpaste and Mulder when I slide it out and pop it into my mouth for a taste." Once again Scully's finger followed her words and she gave a satisfied groan when she discovered she was right. Mulder's brain felt like it was going to explode. He clenched his fists in the coverlet of the bed, trying to hold on to his sanity. Scully grinned at him and continued. "I want to kiss you for hours, Mulder. I want to kiss you lips so many ways." "Ungh! Ways?" Mulder was reduced to single word sentences. He was in big trouble. Scully slid lower still so that she could whisper directly into his ear. "I want to kiss you sweetly, closed mouth kisses that caress and tease for about an hour and then slip my tongue between your lips and explore. I want you to take over the kiss and fuck me with your tongue, Mulder, until we're both so hot and ready that all we can do is rip off our clothes and come." "Uhh, Scully." "Shhh! Mulder. You promised." She began to rub her breasts slowly against his chest. The buttons on her night shirt worked open, one by one. His eyes were locked on the glimpse of Scully that flashed before them. "Oh, Mulder, I want to kiss you down your body, your beautiful, sexy body." Scully slid lower still as she talked. She let her hot breath touch him everywhere she wanted her lips to go, but would not give him the relief of actual touch. She slid her sex down his body, slowing as she felt his erection slide in between her legs. She deliberately hesitated and allowed the heat of their arousals to build before she continued to slide down. She allowed the friction of her downward path to raise her night shirt. Their mutual moans of please brought smiles to both their faces as skin slid across skin. She came to the waistband of his boxers and stopped. "Mulder, I want to slide your boxers down and . . ." "And?" Mulder gasped out. "Ah, but before I feel I have the right to do something like that, I would need to know that I am wanted. That I am loved. That what I feel is forever, not just for one night or a short while." "Scully, you're killing me here." Mulder was able to say. "Please, you know that I love you." She slid her fingers under the waistband and tugged. "No, Mulder, I don't know that. I've heard you say you love me one time. You were drugged and in a lot of pain. I don't know if that is enough." She moved to rise from the bed and was gently tugged back down. Mulder's hands held her face close to his and he kissed her. All she could think of was the Kevin Cosner quote from Bull Durham - it was a long, slow, deep, wet kiss that aroused her more than any kiss she had ever received before in her life - ever! "Finish what you were saying about the boxers Scully." Mulder growled. "A man can only take so much." "I think you forgot the 'l' word, Mulder," she teased. "You finish your thoughts first. When I tell you I love you, I want my cock to be buried deep in the heat of your body. I want my hands on your breasts, and my lips devouring yours. The hell with it." Mulder pulled her night shirt over her head and ripped her panties off her body. His deep green eyes burned her everywhere they touched. He moved to tear off his boxers and to lean above her. "You want my love, Scully? You've got it. You've had it for years. You are everything to me. Your touch is in every part of my life. I get home from work and I have to masturbate to release the pressure of being so close to you all day and not being able to touch you. Sometimes I don't even make it home. When I come, I yell your name. It's for you, Scully, no one else." Mulder began to stroke her stomach. "When I eat alone I order food that I know you like. When I work around the apartment I clean it so that you will feel comfortable when you come over. Each time I change the sheets on the bed, I wonder if this time, maybe, just maybe, I'll get lucky and be able to share the bed with you. When I sleep I dream of you. The nightmares are a bitch, but sometime I get lucky and I dream of us and we're happy." Mulder moved his hands to caress her breasts. Scully never let her gaze leave his. "You are everything to me, Scully. I know you think that my quest to find Samantha is the most important thing in the world to me, but you're wrong. I've known for years that the older I get without finding her, the less the chances are that it will ever happen. You, Scully, are the reason that I am able to get up in the morning and face another day without her. You fill me up with just a glance, a touch, a word. When we do find Samantha, she will owe as much to you for her rescue as to me." Mulder nudged her legs apart and lowered his body to lie between them. He slid his hand between them and began to tease her clit. "Your friendship and support have kept me sane. My love for you has kept me strong. You are the most important person in my life. I love you, but I never allowed myself to believe that you would love me back." Mulder groaned when he slid his fingers into her. The proof of her readiness made him clench his jaw to hold in the 'Oh Fuck' the reverberated through his mind. "I have loved you for years, Mulder." Scully whispered. "Oh, God, Scully." Mulder rose above her and held himself ready at the lips of her vagina. He lowered his head to kiss her but her words stopped him. "I need you, Mulder. I need you inside me now. Please." Scully only had to ask that once and Mulder was lost. He moved his hips forward to slide into her. He knew he needed to go slow for her. She was so tight he didn't want to hurt her and he wanted the added advantage of dragging out the moment and letting the exquisite feeling of entering her last forever. Scully sucked in her breath and held it as he slowly entered her body. He was so big. She was so out of practice. He felt so good. She had never felt this full and complete before. She had always loved the feeling sex with a tall man. They enveloped her and bombarded all her senses, making her pleasure more acute. Sex with Mulder was proving to be almost more sensory stimulation than she could bear. When he slid in the final inches, she could feel him pressing up against her cervix. She felt beautiful and wanton and loved. She was beyond words. "Scully!" he breathed. "You feel so wonderful, so tight, so hot. I love you Dana Scully." Mulder rose up so that he could see where they were joined. "Look at us," he commanded. "Look at us and know that I love you, Scully. I worship your body, I need your friendship, I admire your intelligence, and I crave your love. This is our forever, Scully." He began to thrust his hips into her harder. "Even when we're too old to do this, I'll love you. You are my oxygen. If you are taken from me after this, I will live what's left of my life alone. I will never have another. You are my wife, my mate, my other half and no one else will ever do. God, I love you Scully." "Mulder. . ." she began. "Shhh, you don't need to say anything." He lowered his lips to hers and they kissed as he worshiped her body with his. Mulder's lips left hers and slid down to her throat. Scully thrust her head back as he began to kiss and bite her neck, marking her has his. The feeling of his lips sucking on her at the joint of her neck to shoulder sent another bolt of heat thru her body. As she moved to meet his now powerful strokes, she could feel her orgasm building. "Mulder, I love you too. I want you forever. You are my other half. I was empty until I met you. I had built all these.." A groan completed her sentence. "All these what, Scully?" Mulder loved that she was talking. Her words and actions mingled to arouse him further - he could actually feel his cock grow harder and longer. "Walls, Mulder" she groaned. "Walls, I built them to keep others out because I felt so empty and incomplete." Scully let her lips latch on to his neck and marked him as hers. "I was missing you, Mulder. You are the one that completes me. Jesus! Do that again." Scully nearly shouted as Mulder began to thrust into her harder. She could feel him pounding her cervix and before long a new sensation began to overwhelm her. Scully raised her legs higher, locking her ankles when the pleasure gained by her movement seemed to peak. The orgasm that swept over her was so strong, so overwhelming that she almost made him stop to keep it from crushing her. Wave after wave of intense pleasure surged through her body. The strong contractions of her vaginal walls drove Mulder over the edge. His previously smooth strokes became erratic and his breath left his body in small gasps and groans. "Scully, ohgodiloveyouloveyouloveyouyouyou." The last was said as he came and came and came and finally collapsed over her. Many moments passed before they were able to crawl up the bed and settle themselves under the covers. Scully nestled up to Mulder's side, wrapped in his arms and his love. Neither of them had the energy to do more than lazily kiss and snuggle for many minutes. "Scully, did you say that you told Bill that you love me?" Mulder was suddenly seized by panic. He pulled away to look at her face as she answered. "Mulder..." Scully giggled. "There's no need for your panic face. I think Bill has finally accepted the fact that I am old enough and smart enough to make my own decisions." "Okay. What about Charlie?" "Charlie will be okay with this, too. He trust's my judgment." "That's great." Mulder murmured as he slid closer to sleep. "Mom is the one you have to worry about." Scully waited for the reaction. Three, two, one. "Maggie?" Mulder sat straight up in bed as if expecting to find her in the room. "Relax, Mulder." Scully smiled to herself as she pulled him back down to snuggle. "The worst part will be fending off the offer of Father McQue's services." His silence was so profound that it scared her. "Mulder?" "What if I don't want to dodge your Mom or refuse the services of Father McQue? What if I want forever?" Mulder's voice was laced with uncertainty. Scully sucked in her breath, stunned by his words. "Are you trying to be Fred Astaire here, Mulder, and dance me across the terrace in the moonlight?" Her gentle teasing and stroking hands soothed his fears. "If I am, will you be my Ginger Rogers? My partner for life?" Mulder felt the warmth and love of her voice and touch. "Oh, Brother." Scully kissed him. "I better get to sleep. Big day tomorrow, you know. I have to learn to dance backwards in heels."